What Makes Me, Me!

During my high school years, I hung out with a group I found unique and enjoyable to be around. Those typical people are the "geeks" from what I hear from many preps and jocks. But I guess it is better than having to wear brand clothes or be part of a sport to be wanted in a certain group. We were diverse, from different races to the clothes we wore, no one would even think otherwise. We never had to felt plastic because everything we do, we try to be ourselves without offending other people. I never had to force myself to wear high heels, make up, brand clothes, or put my hair a certain way. They were actually loud and obnoxious but I did not mind, because they were the only people who made me felt comfortable at Sheboygan North High School. However this group only had girls, and I did not grow up only with sisters or around girls.

My whole life, I spent most of the time with my brothers. I cannot partially blame them for why I became somewhat of a game-addict. When I wanted to build a snowman, play baseball, football, basketball, or video games, they had always agree to play with me. My typical clothing are somewhat boyish, but I try to look a little feminine to some extend, for example, I won't wear a dress pants to a formal dance. My brothers always stood up for me, along with my sisters, but I had always felt comfortable talking to my brothers. Now, I am trying to be dependent on myself, then depend on someone, because I know some day I will have to face this world alone.

I know it may seem weird, but I am a girl who hates doing chores and cooking. I was a "spoilt brat" at a young age, and refused to learn how to cook, but I could certainly clean. I just do not have the feel to clean anything if it is not necessary. The only thing I wanted was to advance in life, but to tell the truth, I think I need a break from school. I am not totally focused, especially when I am thinking only about Christmas and the one month break. 

In conclusion, many people say I am a shy and nice person ... that is totally the opposite. I can say I am somewhat shy, but I changed myself because an incident that happened during junior high. I could not trust anyone with the world I said, and it took me more than a year to find a group who make me feel comfortable. I don't really talk about my personal life because I don't want people to pity me. But the only person who actually knew what I was going through was my family and a close friend. And I would not say I am a nice person, I just do not want to show who I really am to them. I was somewhat a bully in elementary school and never wanted to be one again, I guess. 

There is so much more that makes me, but those are the only true reason why I am who I am. I would describe myself as self-center, selfish, game-addict, somewhat shy, and somewhat mean at some times. But it takes more than just a day to change someone, and if possible, I may never be able to change myself. I guess as one of my like-able song, Scars, sung by Papa Roach says, "And my scars remind me that the past is real." But now I am happier because I got rid of my worse four years.